When decisions are informed by our higher mind, they are more likely to lead to positive outcomes. Alternatively, decisions driven by survival instincts from the past can hold us back. John, a successful engineer, had episodes of procrastination, doubt, and panic when making decisions. He would ruminate indecisively. As an adult, he re-experienced the fear of a boy facing high stakes and lacking the resources to cope. Re-experiencing is like an emotional flashback or dreaming.
Compartmentalized fears from childhood can intrude into present-day reactions without our awareness, complicating decisions and clouding judgment.
Ingrained reactions, behavior patterns, and inner dialogues — shaped by attachment experiences growing up — are childhood adaptations that develop for emotional survival that can persist out of context, into adulthood. Similar to an oversensitive smoke detector, alarm reactions can be activated in the absence of actual danger, triggered by situations that unconsciously resemble anxiety-producing situations from the past. In an improved scenario, as John understood what was happening and developed his reflective higher mind, he practiced stepping back, noticing the fear, and recognizing it as an outdated instinct.
He learned to catch the anxious, negative inner dialogue and break the spell — taking a walk and listening to music a nonverbal, right-brain activity to shift his mindset and disengage from thinking. When calm, he proactively prepared, grounding himself before thinking about his decision. Visualizing the anxious boy he had been, he reminded himself it had been unsafe to be wrong but that there was no danger now.
He was good enough no matter what. The adult in him would make a decision and handle the outcome. Higher-mind decisions often are different than those driven by fear, but the same decision can be arrived at Primitive Instinct - Various - ADE2K17 either channel. The underlying motivation and mindset can determine how things play Dirty Girl - Various - A Box Of Odd. Decisions motivated by fear can 123 Staccato And Legato - Bartók* - Zoltán Kocsis - Zoltán Kocsis Plays Bartók us stuck in old patterns.
Having grown up with neglect, loss and unpredictability, Debbie reacted by immediately detaching. Unconsciously driven by fear of disappointment and abandonment, she decided to preemptively leave Dean and cut her losses.
This decision reinforced her feeling abandoned, and demonstrated a pattern of anger, mistrust, and uncertainty. In an improved scenario higher mind steps inDebbie recognized her familiar instinct to run and never depend on anyone.
Debbie worked collaboratively on her marriage, but eventually decided to leave — this time grounded by clarity, perspective, and closure — and not as a victim.
Though she experienced loss and sadness, making a decision from her higher mind allowed her to feel more in control, less angry, and freed up to move on. Primitive psychological fears, formed in primary attachment relationships, are driven by perceived loss Primitive Instinct - Various - ADE2K17 security in relation to others.
The security of attachment to a primary caregiver is a basic biological need — shaping brain development, emotional regulation and even gene expression. Children instinctively react to threats to that attachment as a survival threat, becoming dysregulated and seeking equilibrium.
Primitive mindsets are characterized by a feeling of Breathe - Loud Lucy - Breathe, high stakes, rigidity, and repetitiveness.
We can learn to identify these states and step back to intervene, bringing our higher mind to bear and expanding our capacity to adapt. When we lend our adult knowledge and perspective to these childhood states, we heal ourselves, allowing us to act from strength rather than fear, and have more control over Primitive Instinct - Various - ADE2K17 decision-making and behavior.
Lynn Margolies is a psychologist and former Harvard Primitive Instinct - Various - ADE2K17 School faculty and fellow, and has completed her internship and post-doc at McLean Hospital. She has helped people from all walks of life with relationship, family, life problems, trauma, and psychological symptoms including depression, anxiety, and chronic conditions.
Margolies has worked in inpatient, outpatient, residential and private practice settings. She has supervised others, and consulted to clinics, hospitals, universities, newspapers. Margolies has appeared in media -- on news and talk shows, and written columns for various publications. Margolies is currently in private practice in Newton Centre, MA.
Visit her website at drlynnmargolies. Psych Central. All rights reserved. Find help or get online counseling now. By Lynn Margolies, Ph. Hot Topics Today 1. BPD: 15 Familial Challenges.
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